Friday, 23 October 2009

Just how much can you love a garden.....

Mr P....."Don't you think you are a little obsessed with the garden."
Cheryl ....."I havn't really thought about it."
Mr P ......" you are always out there. You worry if it rains too much, you worry if it is too dry.......you rabbit count on a regular basis."
Cheryl...."Well yes, I suppose I do......but that is because the garden is part of me.......something I have nurtured and brought to life."

This conversation started me thinking.....do men have a passion for gardening?
My Dad is a gardener and he enjoys it but he is not passionate about it. Is it a woman thing?


I must confess I eat, drink and breathe my garden. I know every plant....every tree......where insects gather ...... which branch the robin sings from.....
I get excited when a 'new to me' plant comes into bloom.....
I love the anticipation........
Chrysanthemum fireworks, has given me much pleasure this week........



So tell me gentle bloggers, is the man you live with passionate about gardening.?


Note: The one time Mr P cut the lawn with the tractor mower, all my wildflowers disappeared....consequently he is not allowed to touch the garden, unless I need some sort of structure made and erected....and then I have to say he is an absolute gem.

27 comments:

Q said...

The garden is your very spirit! It shows how much you love each plant, each habitat.
I too am very aware of what is happening in my gardens. I have begun to think I am more of a steward rather than a gardener. I seem to provide houses and food for the bugs and birds...like you do.
My husband does love the plants like i do and we work together in the gardens. I love to plant and harvest! He likes the digging! We both love the bugs and birds.
Your mum is fantastic...I call that style "spider mum". It is my favorite of all the different mums.
Your gardens are so beautiful in their Autumn dress.
I do understand putting ones energy and love into the gardens. I always go to the gardens. I have nurtured mine for over thirty years....now they are in transition. Like me they are changing.
Your garden is your legacy and your gift. It is beautiful.
Namaste,
Sherry

Cheryl said...

Dear Sherry....thank you.
It is good to share....you are fortunate that your man loves the garden and the bees bugs etc.
Mr P would never harm anything and he loves to sit outside and read......but digging and tending plants is not for him.
To be fair, I do so love the silence of gardening alone......

I love the 'Mum'....how gorgeous is it....just too gorgeous for words......

How exciting you gardens are changing....I am sure all that you do will benefit the birds and bugs.....I can envisage it....I am liking what I see......

Liz said...

I'm not sure if it's a woman thing as such, I think it just depends on how intune you are with nature...

My 'Mr P' doesn't love the garden in the way I do, no doubt he appreciates it. But to me, the garden is me, it is my soul and to be without one would kill me.
My brother's house had nothing, he paved the tiny garden, so I made a garden using pots. I felt dead the whole time before I began to take over... lol.

Pete will dig/saw/build for me, he'll even humour me when I ask him what the plants names are... lol. He's learning... in some cases.
However I haven't yet managed to get him to sit outside with me regularly... I have to 'book' a time slot! :D

Terry said...

One time my hubby was weed eating and he whacked off all my daylilies because they looked like grass! He's not allowed near the flowerbeds anymore! LOL

Wendy said...

I love the anticipation of every flower bud opening. It's thrilling and exciting! New life! This is why I celebrate spring more than any season. Summer too, as there are always new blossoms opening. Fall is colourful, but the magic is darker, of smoke-filled air, cool and dark nights and preparation for winter.

Your garden is your life blood, your soul and I'm so glad you share it with us. Your fireworks mum is beautiful!

I too am passionate about my gardens and have learned much about butterflies and bugs since blogging. Before that, they were just "there".

I don't think it's a man or woman thing. In my internet hibiscus group, there are quite a few men who are just as passionate about gardening as we women are. Some of them are growers and do this for a living, but for others it's a hobby.

My hubby used to love raking leaves, taking care of the lawn, but always left the gardens to me. Gardening is not his passion, but he enjoys watching me.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Since my DB and I married and I took over his yard and made a garden he has gone from "I don't work in the garden" to "We really need to get out there and weed". I think his retirement helped get him in the swing of things in the garden. He has actually learned what most of the flowers are at least he doesn't pull up many flowers as weeds any more. I am really proud of him. I can't say he is passionate about it. He just thinks of it as a job to be done.

Mimi said...

I know a few men who are down right obsessive with their gardens as well. I think it really is how "in tune" you are. Women seem to be a little more in tune with things anyway, so it is no surprise that so many avid gardeners are women. I think it is healthy.

beckie said...

Dearest Cheryl, one only has to read a few of your posts to know you are totally passionate about your garden and all that lies with in. :)

But that's okay. You are allowed to do that because it makes you happy. I love my gardens but am not as passionate as you. I will let weeds grow, and plants go untended. Isn't that awful!

Hubby enjoys our gardens and helps some with the heavy work. But no, he does not get overly excited about it.

A very provacative post...

Cheryl said...

Hi Liz....I feel exactly the same, I could not cope without a garden. My last garden was teeny weeny and I loved it just as much as this one. In fact I was sad leaving it behind....

Mr P is learning the names of plants....
Not so long ago we were walking to the car and I said "the pink flamingo trees look good"
He smiled and said "you mean the Salix Integra."
I nearly fell over with the shock...

Cheryl said...

Terry.....so funny....I am glad that I am not alone.....

Cheryl said...

Hi Wendy...I understand your love of spring and summer......it is a joyous time BUT
autumn and winter also have much beauty....autumn tells us to slow down, to nurture ourselves .....
Winter shows us beautiful structure and form...this is the only time we can look across a landscape and see the wonderful artwork that nature has created.

I love every season......but the softness of autumn has a special place in my heart....

It is good to know there are men out there who are passionate about their gardens....I must say I do not know any.....

Cheryl said...

Hi Lisa....that is so nice....sharing the garden chores.
Mr P does work extremely hard, long hours, lots of responsibility..... if he had the chance to retire, I don't think he will ever be a gardener.
Give him something mechanical anytime....he is great just the way he is......

Cheryl said...

Dear Beckie......we are as we are. I need my gardens for peace and solace...I could not survive without them...

I love your honesty ....there is nothing wrong with weeds in the garden.....probably very beneficial to some little creature.....

I think most people think a garden is just something that needs to be 'done'...they do not necessarily enjoy it......

Cheryl said...

Hi Mimi.....I can honestly say I do not personally know any men that are passionate about their gardens. They garden, but it is not a labour of love, it is a chore.

It is good to know there are some out there......

Cheryl said...

Hi Liz....I feel exactly the same, I could not cope without a garden. My last garden was teeny weeny and I loved it just as much as this one. In fact I was sad leaving it behind....

Mr P is learning the names of plants....
Not so long ago we were walking to the car and I said "the pink flamingo trees look good"
He smiled and said "you mean the Salix Integra."
I nearly fell over with the shock...

Racn4acure said...

Hi Cheryl - Nice post. Maybe on average, women love working in gardens more, although the old widower next door where I grew up was pretty passionate about his garden. and he got really passionate if any of us went in there - downright passionate based on his yelling! I love looking at gardens and can appreciate all of the work. thanks for sharing yours with the world. It is clear that it is part of your soul. Art

Cheryl said...

Thank you Art....I love the story of the elderly man.....what a gem....

Rose said...

Cheryl, this chrysantemum is gorgeous! I don't know that gardening is a man-woman thing because I know some men who are as obsessed with gardening as some women. But I know that non-gardeners just don't understand. My husband was very gracious when we visited Gail, but I know he thought he were a little strange when we started oohing and ahing over her native asters and other plants. I think it takes awhile for gardening to get in your blood. I am a different person now than I was five or six years ago, when all I wanted were some pretty flowers to make the front of my house more attractive.

Your comment about Mr.P's mowing made me laugh. I'm not about to take over the mowing here as it is such a big job, but I did take over the trimming responsibilities and I learned early on not to plant any small areas anywhere or they would get mowed over:)

Cheryl said...

Hi Rose.....I really do not know any men who are passionate about gardening. They do it, but only because it needs doing.

I suspose since blogging I have realised there are so many woman out there who feel the way that I do.

So funny re Gail's garden....Mr P would have been trying to stifle yawns....

I love the fact that you are making new beds Rose. I know it
is hard work but it will be worth it. That is how I started this garden......a little bit here, a little bit there.
I love the Chrysanthemum......so pleased I planted them.....

NCmountainwoman said...

Yes, some men, including my husband are passionate gardeners. He loves to pull weeds, plan, plant, and water. He knows the names of all the plants and flowers. Living in the woods has presented some garden challenges which he has joyfully undertaken.

He once said that weeding a garden is the best therapy there is.

Rusty in Miami said...

There are a few of us out here, that are passionate about our gardens, I get it from my dad, but I have to admit there are not many of us.

Cheryl said...

NCmountainwoman....that is music to my ears......and I could not agree more pulling weeds is wonderful therapy.....


Rusty.....I know that you love your garden and it reflects in your landscaping....I remember you posting about your Dad.....

Sue said...

I read your post while finishing my lunch. My husband already finished, and is out gathering pots to dump. I need to get out there to make sure he doesn't dump anything I want to put in the egress window well.

In some ways, I'm glad he's not passionate about gardening, because our yard is too small for 2 gardeners. I don't know if it's a gender thing, though.

I thought your new chrysanthemum was a dahlia when I first saw the photo. I love it!

Monica the Garden Faerie said...

Well, Paul James is a passionate gardener, and so is Mr Brown Thumb, though each is lucky in that they don't in fact live with me. The only male I currently live with is orange and furry. He likes the garden, but I wouldn't say he's passionate about it. I would say he likes it more than my ex-husband, though! I think it's life's way that gardeners (or people passionate about whatever hobby) end up with significant others that don't share that passion! (P.S. I had a really bad dream (twice) last night that my whole garden was dug up because the police got a tip that someone was buried there (not by me, though I about wanted to kill the people who dug it up. It really was a nightmare, I woke up sweating and anxious at 4:00 am thinking my garden had been destroyed.)) Um, yeah. My garden is a prt of me, too.

Sue said...

Hehe, I was in a hurry to get outside yesterday. I want to add more to my previous comment. My husband likes to help with the clean up, because he likes to get things done. He is results oriented, and not process so much. He has dumped plants and thrown things away that I wanted to keep. I took some plant tags out of the garbage yesterday, and a broken chime I think I can fix, and it's bugging me that I didn't get back out to check the garbage this morning before it was picked up to see if he tossed anything else I wanted.

He also helps me put stakes in the ground and things like that. He has even done some tilling in the past. I got him to put up some lattice to hold in the compost piles yesterday, too but it's all just a job, and he doesn't get a thrill from doing it. That's OK with me.

Cheryl said...

Thanks Monica....thanks Sue...

Your comments really made me smile......I'm beaming from ear to ear.......

Gail said...

Dear Cheryl, Mr I does not share my passion for gardening...and I feel completely relieved that he hasn't asserted anything more than a curious opinion about what I do;) He mows the lawn under supervision! Sometimes I think a co-gardener who shared my vision and was completely simpatico would be marvelous...but then I think of my blogging friends. So many people who understand completely what I feel! Then there is the fact that it is hard to be lonely in the garden! We are never really alone out there~~~ The birds, bees and butterflies keep me company and I do occasionally talk with them. Thank you for asking! gail